Do you think you have to aim for perfection all the time? Are you driving yourself crazy trying to get everything just right? I understand. I use to be there (and I still catch myself sometimes obsessing about every little detail).
Let’s start with the fact that there really is no such thing as perfect. Who decides what is perfect? Who gets to set that standard? Everyone has a different concept of perfect. What you think is perfect someone else might not. You are only stressing yourself out for something that someone else might not even appreciate. This is where your mindset comes in about perfection.
Ask yourself why you feel this need to be perfect all the time? Are you comparing yourself to other mothers or people and what they are doing? Do you feel you need to live up to their expectations? Maybe it has to do with something in your past. Maybe you never felt you could live up to someone and now you keep trying to.
For me is was comparing myself to others. I always felt I need to put on this fake show that I was the perfect mother and had my life all together which would cause me to stress about every little detail. I was so worried about what others would think of me if everything wasn’t perfect. Once I started talking to other mothers and realized they did the same thing I started to not feel so bad. I realized we are all trying to impress each other when it’s unnecessary.
Once you dig deep and find the reason that you feel the need for perfection, you can start to overcome it.
Ask yourself who are you trying to make happy.
Are you planning a wedding, dinner or birthday party? Who is the event for? The best thing to do is to ask them what they want. Maybe you are stressing about things that the person who the event is for doesn’t even care about. I wrote a post about how I always try to make my kids birthday parties perfect but never really took what they wanted into consideration. You can read about that HERE.
Focus on what the person who the situation is for actually wants and forget about all the rest. Work on the big thing that needs to be done and stop trying to make every little thing perfect. So you didn’t get the right color of party streamers or the bake the cake from scratch. So what? Is everyone having a good time and enjoying themselves, then that is all that matters. If everyone is happy then it is perfect.
Give yourself grace
Just do the best you can and don’t worry about the rest. If every little detail isn’t just right oh well. Tell yourself you did a great job with what you had. Keep saying it till you believe it. I really believe that what we tell ourselves is how we think of ourselves. If you are constantly criticizing yourself than you are going to think that you cannot do anything right. But when you tell yourself how you are enough and you did a great job then you will believe it about yourself.
Now I know this can be hard to do. I still catch myself saying negative things about me. The best thing to do is to stop and reword what you are telling yourself. For example if you are telling yourself that you should have done a better job on something. Stop and list all the good things you did do.
If you need help learning to love yourself and embrace your imperfections then check out my free self-compassion course. Click HERE to learn more.