Listening to Your kids
How many time do your kids talk to you and you tune them out or tell them just a minute. I know I do it a lot. Sometimes I see them talking but I don’t really hear them. As moms we are so busy and have a lot on our plate because of this sometimes we don’t even have time to really hear what our kids are telling us. We so worried about what other moms will think of us that we don’t stop to wonder what our kids think of us.
I knew I was making my kids feel horrible and not good enough the day my daughter cleaned the bathroom by herself. She was trying to help me out because we had company coming over (another mom who I wanted to impress). My daughter excitedly told me that she cleaned the bathroom but when she showed it to me all I did was point out everything she did wrong or missed. The smile fell off my daughter’s face and she walked away. I had just made my daughter feel horrible because I needed things to look perfect to impress someone else.
This day made me realize that I was so busy chasing after being the perfect mom that I was forgetting about my kids. I forgetting to listen to them, play with them and be a mom to them. I knew I had to change and be the kind of mom they needed not the one everyone else thought I had to be.
I started by really listening to what they wanted. Yes everyone was going to be a Power Ranger for Halloween and I wanted a unique amazing costume for my son but he was dead set on being a Power Ranger. I had to stop and think did I want to see him happy or did I want to impress others? His happiness was more important so we got the Power Ranger costume.
My daughter wanted to wear mismatched clothes with suspenders to school one day and I kept trying to talk her out of it. Why? because I was worried about what the teachers and other parents would think The smile on her face though when she came down in that outfit made me change my mind. She felt amazing and confident. I knew she needed to be herself and express who she was. The thing is no parent or teacher said anything to be about it. I didn’t get one note, phone call or comment. I was worried for nothing and I would have made hindered my daughter’s creativity.
I know there are many times when I am really busy and in the middle of doing something and I tell my kids to hold on or I brush them aside. This sends the message that what I was doing was more important than them. I never want them to feel that way but I was. Now if I can I stop and give them my full attention. I love this quote:
Everything they want to tell me is important to them so I need to make it important to me too. Next time you find yourself saying “just a minute” remember to stop and give them your attention. Most of the time that minute turns into an hour. We get so caught up in what we are doing and forget that they needed us.
Taking the time to really tune into what our kids need and to really listen to them takes time. I’m still working on it but it’s so important because it builds that relationship and trust with our kids. Stop worrying about what other mothers think of you and start worrying what your kids think of you.