One of the hardest things to do is to learn to love yourself. With my need to be perfect all the time I never felt I was good enough. I always compared myself to other people who I thought were getting it right. I never took time for me because I felt I needed to keep going to keep up with all the other “perfect” moms out there.
It wasn’t till I realized that other moms are losing their shit too. There is no such thing as a perfect mom or person. If we were all perfect the world would be a boring place. Starting my journey on doing away with perfect has been difficult. I still find myself stressing about the tiniest details sometimes but the most important thing is I’m trying and I’m giving myself grace.
That started with learning to accept who I am – every imperfect inch of me. I had to realize that I can’t give to others or my kids when my tank is empty. I need to take the time to sit with myself and learn about me and why I felt this need to be perfect.
I found the deep cause of my need for perfection was I felt I was being judged by other mothers. I wanted to prove that I could do it all and make it look easy. I hid the part where I collapsed into bed every night and didn’t even have time to play with my kids or appreciate them. I had to learn to let go of comparing myself to others and feeling I had to do it all.
I started small by spending 15 minutes with just myself in the morning. I journal and read self-help books. When I felt myself get stressed over something I would stop and take a deep breath and ask myself how important is this. If it wasn’t that important I would let it go (sometimes that’s easier said than done). While I still have my doubts about myself as a mother, I am happy with who I am because I know I am trying my best and that’s all that matters.