Why is it so hard to ask for help?


Asking for help: we hate doing it. We are afraid of how others will view us or we think asking for help means that we are not good enough to do it ourselves.  Changing our mindsets about asking for help is hard. As perfectionists we are suppose to be good at everything  and able to handle whatever is thrown at us. That kind of thinking will lead to burnout and probably a breakdown because the truth is we cannot do everything. There are other people around to help you, who won’t judge you. Here are some common mindset blocks about asking for help and how you can overcome them.

Asking for help means I failed

Asking for help feels like a last resort because that means we couldn’t complete what we wanted to.  As moms it feels like we are failing at motherhood.  We are suppose to be supermom and handle everything.

Asking for help does not mean you are a failure. It means you are human. We all need help sometimes. There is no way we can do everything ourselves. That way of thinking leads to exhaustion and no time in life to do the things you enjoy. Next time when you feel you need help think about all the the things you have accomplish even if it’s only one thing. Accomplishing something means you are not a failure. Asking for help does not make you a failure!

Others will view it as a weakness

We feel that other mothers will think that we can’t handle our kids or motherhood if we have to ask for help. They will think it is a flaw.  We feel judged and then start questioning everything we do.

First, other people are probably not thinking that about you. We just feel that they would be. I am sure that others have needed help in their lives. They probably would be able to relate to you more if you do ask for help. Second,if you have people in your life who would think of you that way then maybe it’s time to rethink who is in your life. We definitely do not need those negative people in our lives. The most important person that we need to care about what they think of us is ourselves. It doesn’t matter what others think, if asking for help is going to improve your life then do what is best for you.

I don’t want to burden anyone

We feel that asking someone for something is bothering them. We don’t want to add more to someone else’s life.  People have enough going on in their lives without us having to intrude.

You are not a burden!! When someone truly cares about you then they will not feel you are bothering them. Think about the people who you care about in your life. If they asked for help would you be annoyed or would you want to help them because they are important to you. You would want to do anything you could to make their lives easier. Remember how you would feel next time you have to ask for help and I bet it’s the same way they feel. People do want to help you. There are some amazing people in my Facebook group, Let’s Be Real, who will help you on this journey. Click HERE to join.

If you need more help learning to ask for help then check out my free Learning to Ask for and Accept Help Course. Click HERE to learn more.

Why is it so hard to ask for help?


  1. Andolina @ Lessons From a Student Mom

    September 24, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    I literally just read this entire thing nodding my head because these are the exact thoughts I always have. I am excessively independent because I hate having to ask for help.

    1. JillianGrover

      September 25, 2017 at 4:58 am

      I know what you mean. It’s so hard to even admit to ourselves that we need help. It took a long time before I finally realized that I can’t do it all and needed help. It takes time but start with small things. Just little things that will free up some time for you during the day. It will get easier. Thank you for reading 🙂

  2. Sarah | Baby Brain

    September 27, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    This post really rings true for me. In addition to the reasons you included, I also think it’s because I was just hardwired to take care of everyone else from a young age. It took a long time to realize that everyone needs help and it’s not my job to just go around making sure everyone else’s world is running correctly. Great post! 🙂

    1. JillianGrover

      September 27, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      I can so relate. I have always felt as the oldest of my siblings that I had to take care of everyone and it continued into motherhood too. We all need help sometime though.I love how you say we can’t make sure that everyone else’s world is running correctly. We need to focus on ours first. Thank you so much for reading my post. I appreciate it!

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