Why is it so hard to ask for help?
Asking for help: we hate doing it. We are afraid of how others will view us or we think asking for help means that we are not good enough to do it ourselves. Changing our mindsets about asking for help is hard. As perfectionists we are suppose to be good at everything and able to handle whatever is thrown at us. That kind of thinking will lead to burnout and probably a breakdown because the truth is we cannot do everything. There are other people around to help you, who won’t judge you. Here are some common mindset blocks about asking for help and how you can overcome them.
Asking for help means I failed
Asking for help feels like a last resort because that means we couldn’t complete what we wanted to. As moms it feels like we are failing at motherhood. We are suppose to be supermom and handle everything.
Asking for help does not mean you are a failure. It means you are human. We all need help sometimes. There is no way we can do everything ourselves. That way of thinking leads to exhaustion and no time in life to do the things you enjoy. Next time when you feel you need help think about all the the things you have accomplish even if it’s only one thing. Accomplishing something means you are not a failure. Asking for help does not make you a failure!
Others will view it as a weakness
We feel that other mothers will think that we can’t handle our kids or motherhood if we have to ask for help. They will think it is a flaw. We feel judged and then start questioning everything we do.
First, other people are probably not thinking that about you. We just feel that they would be. I am sure that others have needed help in their lives. They probably would be able to relate to you more if you do ask for help. Second,if you have people in your life who would think of you that way then maybe it’s time to rethink who is in your life. We definitely do not need those negative people in our lives. The most important person that we need to care about what they think of us is ourselves. It doesn’t matter what others think, if asking for help is going to improve your life then do what is best for you.
I don’t want to burden anyone
We feel that asking someone for something is bothering them. We don’t want to add more to someone else’s life. People have enough going on in their lives without us having to intrude.
You are not a burden!! When someone truly cares about you then they will not feel you are bothering them. Think about the people who you care about in your life. If they asked for help would you be annoyed or would you want to help them because they are important to you. You would want to do anything you could to make their lives easier. Remember how you would feel next time you have to ask for help and I bet it’s the same way they feel. People do want to help you. There are some amazing people in my Facebook group, Let’s Be Real, who will help you on this journey. Click HERE to join.
If you need more help learning to ask for help then check out my free Learning to Ask for and Accept Help Course. Click HERE to learn more.