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Expectations of motherhood

Expectations of motherhood

When I was pregnant I had this vision in my head of what motherhood would look like. I knew it was going to be wonderful. My baby would be so cute and as she grew we would play together and have so much fun.  Being a mom was going to be a breeze. I laugh at that thought now. Motherhood is definitely not easy and definitely not what I expected.

It’s alright to admit that being a mother is not what you thought it would be and sometimes it’s not fun at all. Sometimes you want to lock yourself in a closet and cry. It’s stressful and overwhelming.  No one is a perfect mother but we are all just doing the best we can.

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Opening my Eyes

Opening my eyes

I have struggled with perfectionism for as long as I can remember. It got worse after I had my kids. When my daughter was born I had to have her always dressed nice and looking perfect. I always smiled because I wanted everyone to think I had this whole mothering thing down.

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I use to be that mom

I use to be that mom

I use to be that mom that judged other mothers. I would comment about how they were raising their children, what they were wearing or what they feed their kids. I would smile and be nice to their faces and then turn around and talk about what bad mothers they were being because of something they did. I was being the biggest hypocrite there was because I was doing some of the things they were. I just never showed it. I wanted to be viewed as the perfect mother.

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Does self comparison drive you crazy?

Self-comparison

I think our need to be perfect comes from many things but one main issue is comparison. We look at someone else’s life and think that they have it all together. They are doing everything right and they look great while doing it.  Well let me just tell you that no one has the shit together 100% of the time. There’s absolutely no way that is possible.

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Trying to be Perfect at Everything

I use to be a perfectionist. I would drive myself crazy worrying about every little detail and trying to make everything just right. Not only did I drive myself crazy but I drove everyone around me crazy too. My kids had to have the perfect outfit, birthday and presents. Every time my husband did something to help me out it wasn’t good enough because he did it wrong. I would spend entire weekends cleaning my house so it looked amazing (which is next to impossible with 3 kids). I was getting burnt out trying to make my life look perfect.

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How I’m learning to let my kids be messy

I knew I was going overboard on organizing when my son said he didn’t want to play with his toys because he would make a mess on the floor. Kids should not be afraid to play because mom is going to freak out over the mess. Kids are messy that’s just a fact. By my actions I was telling my kids that it’s not alright to be messy. That being messy is bad. I knew then that something had to change.

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Doing Away with Mom Guilt

Mom guilt – we all have it. There is always something that we feel we are doing wrong or something that we see other moms doing better than us. It’s always there in the back of our minds making us feel like horrible moms. We need to stop and just realize that we are doing the best we can.

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How I’m working on not having the “perfect” birthday party for my kids

Not worrying about the perfect birthday party
My oldest is turning 16 this week. It’s hard to believe. I came into her life when she was 10 months old. Technically she is my step-daughter but I have been raising her since she came into my life so she is my daughter in every sense of the word. It’s hard to believe that the time has gone this fast.

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