Why can’t I be happy?

Why can't I be happy

I am in a funk. I’m not sure what it is. I feel like my life is on hold right now and I’ve lost all control. I hate not being in control. I’m a control freak and it’s driving me crazy. I’m just not happy with anything anymore and I’m not sure why.

I know one of my biggest stresses is we are waiting to close on a new house. Our house has been on the market for 2 years and we have had 4 offers fall through. We can’t buy a new house until we sell ours. Well we are near the end of it but I still have the overwhelming feeling that it’s not going to happen. Something will come and destroy it and I have no control over if it will or not. It’s just frustrating.

My job is another big issue. I hate my job. The company I work for is horrible and they don’t treat all employees as equals. I feel it drains the life out of me and makes me so unhappy. I hate coming into the building. Since we are in the middle of buying a house I can’t really look for a new job right now so again I’m waiting on my house to close so I can start looking.

I don’t feel like I’m being a great mom either. I am so unhappy and blah feeling that I don’t want to do anything after work but sit and relax. My girls have taken to hiding in their rooms every night and I feel like I never spend any time with them.  I do spend time with my son because he doesn’t leave me alone so he’s always next to me.

My fitness has also been affected. I lost 70 lbs two years ago and now I am just gaining it back. I have no motivation to workout or even work on myself. It’s hard to see the bright side right now. I know that working out and eating right will make me feel better but I can’t even bring myself to do that.

There are people so worse off than me and I feel ridiculous for even complaining. I have a good life. Most people would love to have a job or to even be able to buy a house. I am extremely blessed so why can’t I feel that way. Why can’t I be happy?

It’s because my perfectionist ways are taking over. Things in my life are not perfect and I feel that I can’t enjoy anything and I don’t deserve to be happy. I have made a mess of things and now I’m punishing myself. I have lost all control of my life.

Trying to get out of this funk is hard. To start I am going to do some self-care and start taking care of me even if I don’t feel like it. I am going to work on overcoming this perfectionist mindset and get back on track with enjoying my life. I need to start taking my own advice and taking action to make me happy. No one else can do it for me.

Join me with this challenge. I am actually going to take my own overcoming perfection challenge and implement it. I don’t want to be fake and say I’m working on overcoming perfection when I don’t feel I am. So sign up below and join me as I take back control of my life!

Why can't I be happy

4 thoughts on “Why can’t I be happy?

  1. Girl! I promise you are not the only person to ever feel this way! I stayed at a job I hated for 3 years while I was trying to get pregnant with my daughter. We needed the insurance. I cried on a regular basis because I hated it so much. Selling and buying a home are some of the MOST STESSFUL things you can go though. Its all hurry up and wait.
    I think these are totally normal ways to feel. But I also think its a great step in the right direction to start giving up perfection. I recently just started a blog about Graceful Living. Its just about giving yourself Grace and knowing that “stuff” happens. SO much of life is out of our control.

    • It’s good to know I’m not alone. It’s hard while you are going through it but I know it will be worth it in the end. I checked out your blog and love it. Giving ourselves grace is so important. Thank you for sharing your experience too. I appreciate it. I feel better knowing other mothers feel the same way I do sometimes.

  2. Hey Jillian,

    I’m at the same perfection pity party, lol. It’s so easy to wallow in the mess we’ve made, hard to dig out. Been wallowing in Netflix and cookies myself, wishing I could wrinkle my Bewitched nose out of all of it, now that’s dating myself 🙂 …so little control! then those guilty feelings of pouting about first world problems. Aaack.

    • I feel the same way! It’s hard to dig ourselves out of that hole but I’m just trying to remember there is light at the end. Staying in the hole isn’t going to help solve my problems. I hope you start feeling like yourself again and are able to dig yourself out!

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